When perfect becomes imperfect

This is one of those posts where the title makes you stop and think.

Like you,I get tired sometimes but my spirit won't allow me to give up because I have come too far.

For years,I was deceived into thinking that mistakes and failures make us irrelevant and when we fail,God becomes disappointed.

Unashamedly,I am being delivered from the opinions of others and it hurts but I know it's for my good. There are of lot of people who will say that they don't care what others think,but truth be told,some of those people are lying to themselves.

I no longer wish to lie or be lied to anymore about who I AM or what I do.

I thought I had already heard so many no's and walked in insecurity for too long and that chapter of my life was over.Well,I found out this week that now and again,God will cause some of His children to be denied, rejected and even fail ALL for His glory.

What glory you ask? The glory from a TEMPORARY setback is that we are not our failures and with or without success,God still calls us special.So until I am delivered from the "image of perfection",God is allowing me to endure contractions that only He can deliver me from.

The next few months will be painful but I need complete healing to take place-once and for all.

~Dr.Lorneka.

Transition

Transition.What is transition?

Transition is defined by dictionary.com as "process or period of changing from one state or condition to another."

If you are going through changes, be it physical and or/spiritual, it is very important that rely on the voice of God to either say Wait, Go or Be STILL!

Proverbs 3:6 says "...in all your ways acknowledge the Lord." This means that we should consult or communicate with Him about our going and coming.Even if it's something you think is small.

Making decisions in the midst of change that are temporary or not God-driven can lead you to misery or joy.

So today,if you are going through changes,consult God on what to do and then consider it a good thing because when you go through THIS change,you will come out greater than before.

God bless you beloved!

And the Lord did it-again

This past weekend was another triumphant moment for me.After six to seven years,I graduated with my doctorate of pharmacy from the College of Pharmacy at Florida A&M University in Tallahassee.

Aside from celebrating this huge accomplishment, I was really amazed at the things that God did through my family while we were together.Since my mother and grand-mother's death,my family grew apart because our house was the place where everyone gathered most of the time.I don't believe it was intentional but when I traveled back home to Nassau on breaks,I noticed the changes and began praying for God to mend this area.

Reconciliation is God's greatest ministry and so whenever I recognize there is a breach in my relationships (family/friends), I try to become a change agent.This also stems from the fact that my family and I had so many funerals so it's really important that forgiveness, love and service becomes a daily act between us even though we are not in the same country.

But I want to thank God for the chain-breaking moments that occurred this weekend.I was blessed to have my baby brother with me and my step-father reached out to me in more ways than one and this really caught me by surprise.I was hurt when he did not come to assist me with my mother in her last stages of multiple sclerosis.However,he too was hurt by her death but I became selfish and felt that he owed me an apology for the lies and disappointments.I was wrong for thinking he owed me an apology so for this,I am grateful.

Last but not least, God revealed some of the plans He has for me through my mentor and covenant sisters via prophetic words.At first I struggled with the plans because I couldn't see myself doing some of the things but that started to change today.My covenant sisters are all powerful and anointed in their respective places and it's an honor to be in a relationship with them as we're being discipled my mentor and God-mother.

I don't know who will read this post but I want to encourage you to go and act on the dreams that God placed on the inside of you.My motivation came from my mother's unnecessary death but I prayed about this career choice and God made it happen because I had CRAZY faith.So if you're struggling and somehow your dreams died along the way, I speak LIFE over you right now and I challenge you to dream AGAIN.

It's time to give God and the world all you've got.One of my favorite authors,Dr.Myles Munroe said it best. And I quote, "The graveyard is the richest place on the surface of the earth because there you will see the books that were not published, ideas that were not harnessed, songs that were not sung, and drama pieces that were never acted."

If God fulfilled my dreams with $206,two denials from immigration,seven deaths in eight years,a rejection letter from the school that later accepted me into their program a year later and two degrees,surely He wants to do wonders through you as well. So be encouraged and find your dream place again and activate your faith today so you too can say,

And the Lord did it - again!

God bless you.

My mentor & I at my graduation

Why is nothing happening?

It's February 25th, 2013 and you are still waiting on a few things to happen in your life.Well, I want to encourage you to go back to your vows that you made earlier in the year or for some of you,last year.

If we are not careful,we tend to blame God and the devil for a lot of things which we are responsible for. As it relates to the vows I mentioned earlier,those vows were made either in our hearts or written down as a New Year's Eve resolution.After giving my life to Christ,making vows at the beginning of the year and breaking them by Valentine's day was not a smart thing to keep doing at all.

Why is this not a good thing? In the word of God,Ecclesiastes 5:5 states "It is better to not make a vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it." I love the New Living Translation (NLV) which states- "it is better to say nothing than to make a promise and not keep it."

Now I know you're probably thinking that the vows you silently made in your heart or to God are not important.Well, if they were not important, then why did you decide to even waste time thinking about it?

It is very important that you and I focus on being intentional about our character and the things we want to see manifest in the earth.Go back to your drawing board, your journal, your mind and think on the reasons as to why the goals you want are not in your frontal view.The year is not over and God is a God of a second chance but you must be intentional about working alongside Him so He can help make your plans reality. Renew your mind and get back to January 1st,2013 where you were so excited to live.

And if you have become discouraged along the way,do yourself a favor and pull on your faith to strengthen you again for the journey ahead.One area that constantly changes for me is my prayer life.We all say that prayer changes things but yet we devote little time to the thing that is so powerful. Prayer is not hard. Prayer is simply a dialogue (not a monologue) with God. It must become an essential element of your life.God promised to never leave us nor forsake us.So I leave you with this question- "have you forsaken Him or have you broken a vow."

God bless you.

I'm trying but it still hurts!

Are you are still stuck with your feelings of hurt and bitterness and can’t experience TRUE freedom.Well,I am going to explain how God instructed me to walk out forgiveness.

Everyone has been hurt mostly by loved ones,which is why it hurts so much.In the beginning according to Genesis 1:27, God created man in His image,male and female. Which means in His image,there shouldn't be anger,bitterness,unforgiveness or any form of pride.But this is not the case.

It's challenging to forgive someone who has hurt you but doing it alone is even harder that's why we need Christ.So you're probably asking,"how do I start to let go of the pain and hurt that I am feeling towards______?" (Fill in the blank with a name(s) which may also include yourself ).

First,confess that you are hurt because someone disappointed you.Hurt comes from having an unmet expectation.You and I at some point asked someone to do something for us or we assumed that a certain person understood what we needed/wanted but instead, our expectation fell to the ground.To make matters worse,the person who hurt you did not acknowledge what they did nor did they apologize for what happened.The audacity!

We tend to believe that people who hurt us know they are hurting us or just because we are close,they should have known better.Unless you ask for something from someone albeit,a family/friend,no one aside from God knows what you thoughts 24/7.Human beings are strongly capable of making errors and this is why Psalms 118:8 states that,"it is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.The description of "man"  can include parents, spouses, children,employers,soul mates, leaders, girlfriends and more.

I am not telling you to quit trusting people.We can trust people but not more than God.Trusting people more than God leads to unnecessary heartache.

Secondly,make a list of names of the people who hurt you.Think about the people you hurt as well.Being honest shows God that you mean business.For example, if you are praying for a car and God gave you a used red-Honda that doesn't have a transmission then you can’t get upset. If you wanted a new 4-door blue Infinity with leather seats then pray for it according to your faith.God still specializes in specifics contrary to popular belief.

When I created my list years ago,it was hard to do because the pain I endured returned and I was not ready to deal with the issues.Here comes the hardest part.You MUST meet with the person(s) if possible to talk.Holding issues in your heart does not make you nice,it keeps you in bondage.If you have to dig through emails,make an appointment or leave messages, do YOUR part so God can find you blameless.But if the person refuses after you've tried, not just once,then God will honor that.

I understand that you're too busy to deal with the pain right now because it’s too heavy but WHEN will you face it? When the person dies and you tell them rest in peace? Aren't you tired of crying and aching? When you don't forgive and the person has moved on,you are being controlled by satan himself.This opens doors for other evil forces to overwhelm you.When we delay our healing, we delay our freedom.

Next, begin to pray this prayer."God help me to forgive____ for what they did to me and heal my broken heart." You are to exercise this until you experience breakthrough.Do not quit on the first week or month.I'll ask you again. Aren't you tired of crying,aching and pretending?

I knew that my daddy's absence was the cause of rejection I had as a child..After reading the word and going to services,I knew we had to talk soon.One day while mourning the loss of my grandmother,the Holy Spirit said it was time to have "the talk." As my chest began to tighten and tears began to fall,I begged my daddy to sit down and listen to me.The issues were rejection,molestation and secrets my mother (deceased) and other family members hid from me.

I needed some answers to help me become whole.The time to peel off the mask you wear on Sunday is NOW.I know you're probably thinking Lorneka you do not know what they did to me.“I told them to keep it a secret?” “I gave him my heart and he lied” “I lost so much money” or “She stabbed me in the back and I was a good friend” and the list goes on.I am not here to belittle your events.I am here to tell you that there is a better way to live.

The only way God answers our prayers of forgiveness is when we forgive those who trespassed against us.Could it be that some of our prayers are unanswered is because we are holding on to a grudge? Let that sink in because this was hard for me to swallow too.

Forgiveness is about YOU.It's not easy but anything worth having takes FAITH.And that faith my dear cannot be placed into the hands of a human being.

My list of names has gotten shorter because I now enjoy pleasing God.When I know I offend someone,I quickly repent and apologize.As you forgive,you will start to experience peace. That night after crying,screaming and hugging my daddy,I slept like a baby.The "talk" was very therapeutic for me.The bible also tells me to honor my mother and father so that my days shall be long (Exodus 20:12).How can my days be long when I disliked being around my daddy much less do anything for him without complaining?

So after being rejected for 20 years,God has healed my heart in 7 years concerning my daddy all because I was sick and tired of being--sick and tired.I also forgave my molester.So I hope truly release those who have hurt you.It will not be easy but with God ALL things are possible to him that believes.If you need help with this,pray about who to go to but start YOUR work and do it now.Your future awaits your call to truly forgive!!

My daddy and I at my birthday celebration. #daddy's-girl
We talk every other day and see each other at least twice a week now.

If God healed me,I want the same for you,

Signed Lorneka

Am I a prostitute?

No I know that many of you reading this post know that you are NOT a prostitute.

But ask yourself, “What part of me have I given away in exchange for money?”

When I looked up prostitution, several definitions stood out at me. One source defines prostitution as the practice or occupation of engaging in sex with someone for payment.

But the definition that jumped out at me was one who sells one's abilities, talent, or name for an unworthy purpose. Could it be that we're prostituting what God gave us for His glory and we are abusing it?

Well for my church folks, I may be confused because you're waiting for your spouse; you do not fornicate and everyone in the church knows your name and the walls come down when you sing. Sure. But God gave you a gift but you've placed a price tag on it and you won’t help anyone unless your wants are met!

I woke up this morning with this on my heart as God asked how many of His children are prostituting themselves in exchange for death and not for Him. Our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit and our temples house our God-given gifts and talents.

Years ago, I made a deal with God that if He delivered me from the unbearable pain that I was enduring at the time, I would become celibate until marriage. Thankfully, we both kept our deals and I owe it all to Him. However, I still have to be discerning to other demonic spirits that want to buy me in exchange for temporary satisfaction.When I gave a man a part of me, I always left empty handed and broken. This then transferred over into my other relationships and I soon became weary.

To my single brothers and sisters, consider your ways. I don’t care how you pretty it up, if you’re in a relationship where your bills are being paid, you receive gifts in exchange for sex- you are a prostitute. Point, blank period. If someone loves you but does not find you worthy enough to marry, leave that person alone. Jesus bled and died for you and I to have a life of freedom- not a life of bondage.

So, I ask this question again? Are you a prostitute or not? If you are, repent now.Stop selling yourself & find true freedom in the arms of Jesus.

New-age idolatry

Today marks day 15 of what I call a detoxifying process.Since my return home to Miami to complete my final year in school,so much has happened (good and bad).The good thing about rotations (unpaid clerkship)  is that I get to spend time with my family and live outside my books.This has been a challenge for me but I am walking out my dream so fun went to the bottom of my bucket list.

As it relates to the bad,it's not what you're probably thinking.There are no financial or physical hardships per se but I have walked away from my first love and it hurts.My schedule every week has been 9-5,choir rehearsal through the week and socializing with my family.I transitioned to another church and I am also being pulled every other weekend to do something towards my career.No longer was I consistent with the schedule I had in college waking up early to pray,fast and devote time to God.My first love had now become a burden to communicate with.This is a no-no.I desire to still live as if there is a heaven and a hell.

So as I headed to work October 1st to help with a flu clinic,God asked me how bad I wanted to be on fire for Him again.His voice was loud but yet subtle.I responded internally with, "I need you badly."He then asked me to deactivate my facebook account and allot some time to either pray or read my bible because my spirit was on "E".He told me just because everyone else was being "busy",doesn't mean I should follow the crowd.So I am now reading the celebration of discipline.I am an encourager by nature but I was not re-fueling myself after pouring out myself to everybody else.Another area that changed was my physical body.I was so fatigue after work to the point where I would wake up the next day.My weight also increased.

Life is good and I have nothing to complain about but God literally instructed three of my loved ones to question me about my spiritual life out of no where.I believe this was a warning and also preparation for my next level.My fasting has been inconsistent.I also had an itch to do stuff when God was telling me to sit still and rest. Somehow,I allowed the distractions and idols of my heart to ignore "the voice" that has given me-LIFE.This voice is my first love-Jesus Christ.I now understand what it means when I hear folks say when everything is good,you don't need God.But when things are bad,we pray and seek God more.Everything good is not always from God.So if you and I are not doing things that bear fruit or advances the kingdom of God,we are operating in idolatry.An idol is anything that takes the place of God.

I thank God for the refreshment,rejuvenation and self evaluation.If you are located in this same place,pray this prayer.God,I repent to you and Jesus Christ for creating idols (myself, people, food, and being busy) in my heart.I repent for not being kingdom driven and telling you what I want to do.Obedience is what you desire from me always.Thank you for grace to start over again.I miss you.Help me oh Lord to get rid of ALL idols so I can seek first the kingdom of God and remain in love with Jesus Christ.