January 2009 is going to mark my 4th year anniversary of being single. Society would definitely label me as abnormal and unbalanced. For it's not normal for someone to enjoy life and to do so without having a mate. As I thought about this great celebratory moment in my life, I was led to re-visit the story of Ruth and Boaz in the Bible. A quick synopsis of the story would probably help you understand why I am celebrating this moment. Ruth was a young woman who had married an Ephrathite man from Bethlehem and got married only to become a widow ten years later. After the death of her husband she and Naomi,her mother-in-law moved to Moab.Ruth decided to go along with her Naomi,instead of returning to her homeland. So to take care of her mother-in-law ,Ruth decided to seek employment in a nearby field.While there in Moab, Ruth began to flourish in her relationship with God after such tragedy. Ruth was able to go out and seek employment to provide for her and her mother-in-law while in this foreign land. In search of a new life, I believe that Ruth no idea of what she would be getting as a result of being a woman of God. To continue on with the story, Ruth finds favor in the fields harvesting,then suddenly and unexpectedly caught the eyes of a man by the name of Boaz who she later married. Boaz, who was a physically impressive and an influential man, not only married Ruth, but he redeemed the family's inheritance since her husband died. Then finally, you guessed it..they had a baby named Obed and lived happily ever after.
Now I would have you to know that all this did not happen over night and there were certain things that transpired in order for this marriage to take place. Ruth clearly from this story in the book of Ruth had to have had a relationship with God to be so submissive to transition I call- PROCESSING. Many times as people,especially women,we want to believe that in order for us to be happy, those in our sphere must either resemble what we want them to be or change them to our desires. Which is not an effective way to being happy. But what about thinking whether or not the other person thinks the very same thing about you. As for myself I have been finding that in waiting for God to send His best for me in terms of a man, I have to get prepared, work now and submit as a single first and foremost to God.
How does that process work? I don't know. But I do know that there is an instructions' manual called the Bible that gives steps on how to go through the process, learn to master it and yet, remain happy in the midst.
So let us visit the instruction's manual on how Ruth did it and got results.
As I read the story there were key evidence of characteristics that Ruth exemplified that can help us as human beings on not just waiting for a spouse, but waiting on anything. First and foremost Ruth had a relationship with God and family.So we must first develop relationships. Relationships with God and people that we like and dislike.Yes I said it.Living in an era where we see times are truly changing, such as in the case of America electing an African-american as president, we can no longer believe that we can grow and change alone.If such was the case,then why did God feel the need to place a woman in the garden of Eden with Adam and then to have them birth forth nations.
Gen 2:18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
To know how the mind works, we must be intentional in seeking the purpose of a relationship and continue to do so until it is perfected in love. As a brother of mind said in his blog, "Being intentional in relationships with others usually means at some point, it will be very difficult to be in the relationship and will REQUIRE that you know WHY you're in that relationship." This also refers to being intentional in your relationship with God if you are not already doing so. So when the times comes to be united with your wife or husband, not saying there will not be communications errors in that marriage, but you will know the skills on how to recognize and fix the errors that arise.
Another characteristic displayed by Ruth, was that she was a servant.
We know this because when Ruth and her mother-in-law migrated to Moab, her first desire was to go out and work to provide for them both.
Ruth 2:2 And Ruth the Moabitess said to Naomi, "Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor." Naomi said to her, "Go ahead, my daughter."
We live in a microwavable society where we want everything here and now without having to struggle for those things.Its true you can get things easier than others, but what would it profit one by not wanting to be patient and learn valuable lessons that will carry one through life? Successful leaders such Bill gates, Donald Trump and Oprah did not start out leading where they are now. They had to learn from experts in the corporate world, prove what they learnt, go through trial and errors and most important, they served first.Oprah started co-anchoring TV news in Nashville, and Bill Gates learned computers by working along with his Harvard professors, but we have a greater example which is Christ. His life was totally centered on pleasing His heavenly Father by serving mankind. So I am learning how not to just serve people in the church that I greet and minister to at the door or my family and friends,but EVERYONE. To the men especially, I believe that the most effective tool in being a great husband is to serve someone unselfishly on a higher level than you are even when when it hurts.Same goes for women desiring to be an effective wife in the home.
'I love the Lord with all my heart and soul." For some,this statement is a cliche then for others its what we truly do. Ruth undoubtedly had a love for God that it encompassed every area of her life. So much so that it caused her to find favor with man wherever she went. While being loyal,humble,serving and working hard, Ruth was able to find favor with Boaz so much that he allowed her to have security while on the job and food for her family.Thats the kind of love I want to be drawn to me.As a christian, I am usually challenged with my love for God because I tend to place emphasis on what I have said to Him and not what I can do for Him. God cares more about actions than words.So if I want a man that loves me and the Lord, then I need to evaluate my love for Christ and people now as a single woman.
Finally, Ruth exemplified a characteristic that is often difficult and yet, simple to God. Ruth was a confident woman of God who trusted in God daily.
There is no way that I can ask God to bring a man to me if I dont know how to trust Him in daily situations that I am going through now or will go through later. If Ruth trusted in herself and her situation to fix it alone, I don't know if God would have honored the desires of her heart. So the next question I have to ask myself is whether I totally trust God to do what He wants in my life and not be shaken buy it.
Then and only then, will He qualify me to receive His blessings.
I made a working-while-waiting list that guides me as a single woman.
Few desires of my future husband:
A God-fearing man- ask self are you God-fearing in all your ways?
A patient and tenacious man- are you patient and tenacious with God and people?
To be loyal and hardworking- are you loyal in your relationships with friends and family and mostly, God?
A man who knows the importance of sacrifice and servitude- are you serving with a pure heart and do you sacrifice your life for others now? without complaining?
A good steward and provider- can God trust you with what you have now and are you using your paycheck to advance the kingdom?
A man that hears from God and one I can trust-are you hearing from God and can God trust you to do anything to glorify His name?
So I hope you see why in January 2009 I will be celebrating and not moping. Because as God continues to show me who I am in Him and want in a spouse, He is giving me opportunities to perfect these things & more NOW. Of course I won't be totally prepared, but I will have enough wisdom and knowledge on how to go through a marriage.This I must be grateful for and to not rush the process of true love so as to be an effective woman of God, like Ruth. So until then..I am working while waiting!!!!!
