Co-worker:"Lorneka,why are you still single?" You're very pretty,educated and you're getting older.
Family-member:"Do you prefer women because so many men hurt you before ?" *shakes my head*
I'm sure these questions sound familiar.My prayer is that,what the Holy spirit gave me,blesses you.It's a challenge to remain pure in a contaminated-world but it is possible for singles to live pure & holy.
Going shopping for Mr.Right-for-you is not God's plan for us as women.So praise God that you are single,going to church and waiting because it could be worse.Find your identity and confidence in Christ and do NOT allow anyone to frustrate you in this season.But here's my question - "do you really know how to identify a Godly-man?" Well,here are some tips to help you while waiting:
1. Desire a man who has character and not just charisma.Charisma will NOT save your soul.
2. Be honest with yourself.Identify your non-negotiables. For example,I need a man who understands tithing because God commands everyone to tithe.This is not open for discussion.
3. Dating or not,make sure the man you want knows how to develop or bring the best out of you.
4. Talk about his family,finances and spiritual life.If you have to make him go to church or pray,the relationship won't last so find the nearest exit and leave.
5. Observe his spiritual life outside of church.Personally,if I am leading prayer all the time or wanting to seek God on issues,this is an unequally yoked relationship.
6. Date yourself.Get your hair done,take a vacation or journal at your favorite restaurant while looking fabulous.Do not wait on a man to enjoy life.Men are impressed by a confident-woman.
7. Pray,study the word & seek healing.Open-wounds from the past can affect other areas of your life.
8. Set BOUNDARIES.Find a mature/accountable sister.For e.g,if you struggle with fornication,opt for group dating or set a curfew should you choose to go on a date with a man.
9. Watch and TEST potential guys.Every guy you meet is not your husband & everyone has motives.
If God did not tell you he is your husband,bring your emotions subject and keep moving.
10. Invest in your PURPOSE.When you get married,your personal dreams become second and your husband/family becomes priority over your social life.Paul talks about this in Corinthians.Don't put off what you can accomplish today.Use this time wisely.
For the past ten years,I've found power in the CROSS & I am happier than ever because I decided to surrender.I love marriage but I will not sit & wallow about what's not happening - YET.Accept where you are & know that "...No good thing shall He (God) withhold from you."(Psalm 84:11)
Cheers to your single & fabulous journey!
