Self Image

Today we live in a society where image and reputation is everything. From the way we look down to the house we live in, the car we drive and or even clothing labels. Growing up as a teenager in a home with love and from my family, I still struggled with my self image.

Now when I looked up the word self image in the Webster's dictionary, it is defined as one's own idea or self perception".Things can be perceived in so many ways. If I were to ask three students in a classroom to describe a picture painted by Michelangelo, I would get different adjectives.Would any of them be wrong? No. Why? Because they described to me what they saw.What I am trying to say is that we all perceive things differently.

My mom never gave me the perception that my self image was a problem. She always taught me that how I perceived myself is important.But the question is why did I feel as though my physical shape was all wrong? I often thought to myself why my friends had longer hair than I did, or how come the other girls hips were much bigger than mine or how come I was the shortest in the neighborhood? This was how I saw myself.I thought the way I was born was all a mistake.It even got to the point where I would starve myself and attempted to commit suicide so I could escape my mind.There were other factors that came into play with my self-image.

     I admired artists like Brandy, Tamia, and Beyonce. The way they dressed and how men would just lust after them. I remember my mother taking me to the salon to change my hair-style every 2 weeks and buy me new clothes when she could.To be honest after all that,I still felt something wasn't right with me.That feeling that I had was all because it was not about my physical structure, but all internal.Trying to look like a celebrity and adding weave to my hair was becoming exhausting and costly.

     Years later, I came to know someone who would help me see that there was no mistake in the way I looked.His name is Jesus.The scripture that I can first remember and never forget is Genesis 1:27-
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of GOD he created Him;male and female he created them". If God made me in his image then that means that I resemble him in a realm that I can't see. From the various science books of the theorists and their opinions and how this world was created, they all concur that God is an artist whose personality is mysterious.

     Basically as I take this time to encourage myself and have a panoramic view of what I should look like, I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and point out all those areas you don't like and ask why.While looking, you should also realize unless you're a twin (whom by the way has differences), you are a designer's ORIGINAL.There is no one who looks like you or can be you, other than you.So what if I don't have round hips like Beyonce, long hair like Ashanti or legs like Tyra Banks, that's not the image I was meant to have.Learn to wake up daily and love on yourself. Tell yourself daily no one looks like me,I am righteous,loveable,wonderful and I AM a designer's ORIGINAL.

Then I noticed as I started to accept the image I was created in and began placing a higher value on  knowing who I belonged to, people started seeing me differently as well. People around me saw me as this flawless beautiful woman inspite of what I thought was wrong at the time.God's desire is that we see what He sees.

Because no matter how much surgery you have,tattoos or breast implants you have,YOU have to realize that your image must change inside first so you could be at ease with how you were made. YOU ARE NO MISTAKE!!!!

What If?

As I sit and think about past fears,I begin to bask in the wonders and awesomeness of my God. I remember the first time that I relocated from the Bahamas to the United States after 20 years. The decision came as a result of wanting a better life than the one I had left behind and pursue my career. Of course the only thing that ran through my mind as the plane lifted off the ground was "what if this is not right?" Forty-five minutes later, the plane landed and home was no longer in sight.I left a place where everyone I knew that loved me was there,family friends, my job, transferred out of college, sold my car and every possession that my mother gave me after her death.

 

     The outcome of re-developing a relationship with a man I had not seen in 13 years was scary. Sitting in the waiting area of Miami International Airport, adrenaline rushed through my body as a man approached me.Right away I wanted to scream and run away,but he looked into my eyes with a look of happiness and smiled and said, "hi coo coo". Coo coo is the name my mother said he called me when I was an infant.I felt like I knew him from somewhere.This man was my biological father.I was embraced in his home with my step-family.We had so many challenges along the way, but 2 and 1/2 years later,we have become the best of friends.

     I said that all to say had I dwelled on the thought of "what if", my I would have never reconciled with my father.Was this my idea....not really. For all I knew he had other children and I didn't need him after I became an adult. It was all apart of God's plan and purpose for my life. I have also been re-born again into the Kingdom of God and I will never turn back. Like me, you probably have thoughts that go through your minds that start with a...what if......?

What if my family doesn't forgive me for leaving?

What if my boyfriend leaves me?

What if I get persecuted for my belief in Jesus Christ?

What if I get fired and I have no way of paying my bills?

What if I tell the truth and they don't believe me?

What if I fall in love again and get abused again?

What if this is not the best school God wanted me to attend?

What if this is not the person God told me to marry?............... and the list goes on and on.

By stepping out on faith and just trusting God,I guarantee you that you would begin to decrease the amount of time you dwell on the unknown. The bible tells us that' without faith it is impossible to please God '. I am a living witness that when you stop the 'what ifs' and just begin to move on that voice that dwells in you...all will begin to fall right into place. So no longer as a Christian do I ask so many 'what if'.But now I come against that spirit of fear. Doubt is a lack of trust. Fear is a lack of Faith.Faith co-exists with trust.They are inseparable. My friends,live life as if it were your last day knowing that you stepped out boldly, followed that voice and at the end of the day accomplished what you believed!!

When the 'what ifs' come into your mind..combat it with the word.Repeat stuff like,God has my back and He told me He will never leave me nor forsake me. I have learned the only thing Satan responds to and run away from is truth.The truth is the word of God.

Now I can say that leaving home for an estranged land, following Christ, loving people even when they don't understand me was all apart of God's plans for me.