I'm trying but it still hurts!

Are you are still stuck with your feelings of hurt and bitterness and can’t experience TRUE freedom.Well,I am going to explain how God instructed me to walk out forgiveness.

Everyone has been hurt mostly by loved ones,which is why it hurts so much.In the beginning according to Genesis 1:27, God created man in His image,male and female. Which means in His image,there shouldn't be anger,bitterness,unforgiveness or any form of pride.But this is not the case.

It's challenging to forgive someone who has hurt you but doing it alone is even harder that's why we need Christ.So you're probably asking,"how do I start to let go of the pain and hurt that I am feeling towards______?" (Fill in the blank with a name(s) which may also include yourself ).

First,confess that you are hurt because someone disappointed you.Hurt comes from having an unmet expectation.You and I at some point asked someone to do something for us or we assumed that a certain person understood what we needed/wanted but instead, our expectation fell to the ground.To make matters worse,the person who hurt you did not acknowledge what they did nor did they apologize for what happened.The audacity!

We tend to believe that people who hurt us know they are hurting us or just because we are close,they should have known better.Unless you ask for something from someone albeit,a family/friend,no one aside from God knows what you thoughts 24/7.Human beings are strongly capable of making errors and this is why Psalms 118:8 states that,"it is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.The description of "man"  can include parents, spouses, children,employers,soul mates, leaders, girlfriends and more.

I am not telling you to quit trusting people.We can trust people but not more than God.Trusting people more than God leads to unnecessary heartache.

Secondly,make a list of names of the people who hurt you.Think about the people you hurt as well.Being honest shows God that you mean business.For example, if you are praying for a car and God gave you a used red-Honda that doesn't have a transmission then you can’t get upset. If you wanted a new 4-door blue Infinity with leather seats then pray for it according to your faith.God still specializes in specifics contrary to popular belief.

When I created my list years ago,it was hard to do because the pain I endured returned and I was not ready to deal with the issues.Here comes the hardest part.You MUST meet with the person(s) if possible to talk.Holding issues in your heart does not make you nice,it keeps you in bondage.If you have to dig through emails,make an appointment or leave messages, do YOUR part so God can find you blameless.But if the person refuses after you've tried, not just once,then God will honor that.

I understand that you're too busy to deal with the pain right now because it’s too heavy but WHEN will you face it? When the person dies and you tell them rest in peace? Aren't you tired of crying and aching? When you don't forgive and the person has moved on,you are being controlled by satan himself.This opens doors for other evil forces to overwhelm you.When we delay our healing, we delay our freedom.

Next, begin to pray this prayer."God help me to forgive____ for what they did to me and heal my broken heart." You are to exercise this until you experience breakthrough.Do not quit on the first week or month.I'll ask you again. Aren't you tired of crying,aching and pretending?

I knew that my daddy's absence was the cause of rejection I had as a child..After reading the word and going to services,I knew we had to talk soon.One day while mourning the loss of my grandmother,the Holy Spirit said it was time to have "the talk." As my chest began to tighten and tears began to fall,I begged my daddy to sit down and listen to me.The issues were rejection,molestation and secrets my mother (deceased) and other family members hid from me.

I needed some answers to help me become whole.The time to peel off the mask you wear on Sunday is NOW.I know you're probably thinking Lorneka you do not know what they did to me.“I told them to keep it a secret?” “I gave him my heart and he lied” “I lost so much money” or “She stabbed me in the back and I was a good friend” and the list goes on.I am not here to belittle your events.I am here to tell you that there is a better way to live.

The only way God answers our prayers of forgiveness is when we forgive those who trespassed against us.Could it be that some of our prayers are unanswered is because we are holding on to a grudge? Let that sink in because this was hard for me to swallow too.

Forgiveness is about YOU.It's not easy but anything worth having takes FAITH.And that faith my dear cannot be placed into the hands of a human being.

My list of names has gotten shorter because I now enjoy pleasing God.When I know I offend someone,I quickly repent and apologize.As you forgive,you will start to experience peace. That night after crying,screaming and hugging my daddy,I slept like a baby.The "talk" was very therapeutic for me.The bible also tells me to honor my mother and father so that my days shall be long (Exodus 20:12).How can my days be long when I disliked being around my daddy much less do anything for him without complaining?

So after being rejected for 20 years,God has healed my heart in 7 years concerning my daddy all because I was sick and tired of being--sick and tired.I also forgave my molester.So I hope truly release those who have hurt you.It will not be easy but with God ALL things are possible to him that believes.If you need help with this,pray about who to go to but start YOUR work and do it now.Your future awaits your call to truly forgive!!

My daddy and I at my birthday celebration. #daddy's-girl
We talk every other day and see each other at least twice a week now.

If God healed me,I want the same for you,

Signed Lorneka

Self Image

Today we live in a society where image and reputation is everything. From the way we look down to the house we live in, the car we drive and or even clothing labels. Growing up as a teenager in a home with love and from my family, I still struggled with my self image.

Now when I looked up the word self image in the Webster's dictionary, it is defined as one's own idea or self perception".Things can be perceived in so many ways. If I were to ask three students in a classroom to describe a picture painted by Michelangelo, I would get different adjectives.Would any of them be wrong? No. Why? Because they described to me what they saw.What I am trying to say is that we all perceive things differently.

My mom never gave me the perception that my self image was a problem. She always taught me that how I perceived myself is important.But the question is why did I feel as though my physical shape was all wrong? I often thought to myself why my friends had longer hair than I did, or how come the other girls hips were much bigger than mine or how come I was the shortest in the neighborhood? This was how I saw myself.I thought the way I was born was all a mistake.It even got to the point where I would starve myself and attempted to commit suicide so I could escape my mind.There were other factors that came into play with my self-image.

     I admired artists like Brandy, Tamia, and Beyonce. The way they dressed and how men would just lust after them. I remember my mother taking me to the salon to change my hair-style every 2 weeks and buy me new clothes when she could.To be honest after all that,I still felt something wasn't right with me.That feeling that I had was all because it was not about my physical structure, but all internal.Trying to look like a celebrity and adding weave to my hair was becoming exhausting and costly.

     Years later, I came to know someone who would help me see that there was no mistake in the way I looked.His name is Jesus.The scripture that I can first remember and never forget is Genesis 1:27-
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of GOD he created Him;male and female he created them". If God made me in his image then that means that I resemble him in a realm that I can't see. From the various science books of the theorists and their opinions and how this world was created, they all concur that God is an artist whose personality is mysterious.

     Basically as I take this time to encourage myself and have a panoramic view of what I should look like, I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and point out all those areas you don't like and ask why.While looking, you should also realize unless you're a twin (whom by the way has differences), you are a designer's ORIGINAL.There is no one who looks like you or can be you, other than you.So what if I don't have round hips like Beyonce, long hair like Ashanti or legs like Tyra Banks, that's not the image I was meant to have.Learn to wake up daily and love on yourself. Tell yourself daily no one looks like me,I am righteous,loveable,wonderful and I AM a designer's ORIGINAL.

Then I noticed as I started to accept the image I was created in and began placing a higher value on  knowing who I belonged to, people started seeing me differently as well. People around me saw me as this flawless beautiful woman inspite of what I thought was wrong at the time.God's desire is that we see what He sees.

Because no matter how much surgery you have,tattoos or breast implants you have,YOU have to realize that your image must change inside first so you could be at ease with how you were made. YOU ARE NO MISTAKE!!!!