The BIG question - where is "Mr.Biggs"?

"Girl,Lorneka why are you still single? You're pretty,smart,you can pray and you have your doctorate.It cannot be that bad for you to find a man." Do you like women?

The details may be different but some of you believe that marriage is the ultimate satisfaction in life but it's NOT! This year I celebrated 10 years being single & celibate and it's been a great journey "finding me." There have been ups and downs but I'd be hear all day describing what it feels like to finally have confidence and self-esteem in who God called me to BE.

There are a lot of beautiful-intelligent-women rocking red bottoms and beat-faces struggling with low self-esteem.I too was challenged with that spirit but only continual deliverance changed my soul.Yes,I'm grateful for my academic success and other accomplishments but I came to understand that success was not supposed to be my identity. Christ alone is my identity.

We are bombarded with voices from the media,society,family,experts and even the church about finding a soul mate.If you're single,divorced or in a complicated relationship wondering when is your BIG proposal,it's time to relax.You and I should not be anxious or freaking out about anything (money,love,success,fame,kids,promotion,etc).Anxiety causes us to make crazy decisions that can take years to fix.

The bible states in the book of Philippians 4:6-7 (MSG), "Don't fret or worry.Instead of worrying,pray.Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers,letting God know your concerns." So if your heart is troubled about marriage or finding the right one,ask yourself what is the root of your anxiety.

But "Dr.Lorneka you don't understand." Actually I do.I know what it feels like to be in love with a man you thought was your husband.I know what it feels like to meet a man in ministry only to find out that the timing was off.I also allowed my exes to feel over my body but sexual intimacy outside of marriage is still wrong in God's eyes.A real man would never touch,feel or seduce a woman into having sex without walking her down the aisle.

If you don't have a relationship with God,you will constantly be troubled in your heart about what other people think you should be doing.As a believer,God called me to fulfill His purpose first.Purpose and true joy doesn't show up after the ring.It should manifest before the ring.Don't let singleness hinder your development and cause you to doubt God or wallow in sadness,envy or jealousy.Okay,so you've stood in few weddings (27 maybe LOL) but if you haven't fully surrendered your heart to the ONE who knows where and who your spouse is,then why do you think it's time to get married?

Too many of us spend hours following,scrolling and watching others that God can't even get our attention.After all the break-ups and temporary-highs,I needed something more than a few words and dinner.I needed a SAVIOR.In the words of Kelly Price, "I need healing for my soul." Thus began my journey of celibacy.Like you,I have fallen short not just in my actions but also in my mind lusting after someone who is not my husband.At 30 years old,I am at the place where I no longer let loved ones or society tell me my life sucks because I'm not dating or having sex.

My soul costs too much for me to be letting any Tom or Jason take me on a test drive or spend the night.The more we give ourselves away to random men and not to Christ,the emptier we will be when we finally encounter our future-spouses.Christ died on the cross for you and I to have life and have it more abundantly? That abundance includes self-worth,joy and peace.

On the other hand,waiting on God for a spouse doesn't mean being socially inactive as well (preaching to myself).We can socialize with others without compromise.Surround yourself with like-minded people who believe in love.The bible states that we are in the world but we are not of this world.This means that though we live here,there should be a distinct difference in our behavior compared to someone who doesn't acknowledge Christ.For example,it's not okay to be cursing, twerking,gossiping or fornicating just because it's popular.Every sin has a consequence.

I used to watch a show called "Sex & the city" where the character Carrie Bradshaw played by Sarah Jessica Parker sat by her window nightly writing letters,smoking and wondering WHEN she would find true love.Your Mr.Biggs will appear in due season ladies if you believe first in your spirit.Enjoy this season while you can with your girlfriends,family & don't wait until marriage to live a fabulous life.Join a church,take trips,improve your finances,go through counseling for those deep hurts,start a business if it's God's will for you but keep moving FORWARD sisters.

Additionally,make sure you are a living example of what you expect in a mate.Are you honest, compassionate,disciplined with money,prayer and fasting? Are you a people-pleaser or does God come second? Can you say no to sex? Do you truly celebrate others or does your ego aka pride talk most of the time? Also, make sure you are not making your BIG day (job,boyfriend,image,sex,title) an idol in your heart.I'm not talking about a Buddha doll.An idol simply put is anything that takes up more space in your heart and mind more than God.

Until we become content in every state and allow God to heal our ugliness and open-wounds,waiting will become exhausting when it shouldn't be.Singleness is also the time where soul ties need to be broken.You can't expect to meet your future while you and your ex play around when you're horny. It's time to show God you mean business.I truly believe that as I execute my purpose,God will cause my future-spouse and I to meet.Hence,my sense of peace.

So the next time someone asks you why are you still single,when are you having kids or where is your "Mr.Biggs",answer with confidence that God is processing you and you are content with where you are right now because this season is just temporary.

Cheers to being single,celibate & fabulous!

Relationship status:It's NOT complicated

During the holiday season,there are single men and women around the world feeling lonely, disappointed,embarrassed and even bitter about enjoying festivities.That holiday invitation from your job and married-friends is still pending.Now some of you may be thinking that you have the right to feel the way you do but I am here to help shift your thinking.

It's been almost a decade since I re-dedicated my life back to the Lord and it has been a beautiful experience.Ten years ago,I became sick and tired of being---sick and tired.Not only did I lose my mother and grandmother in the space of two years but I was terribly broken,confused and depressed from a relationship with my ex-boyfriend.

I was so hopeless that thoughts of suicide plagued my mind every week.You see,I grew tired from chasing perfection in school,pleasing people around me and still feeling unloved.These are a few signs of people who deal with a spirit of rejection which shall be another post.But growing up,I had no identity and when things did not go my way,I threw terrible tantrums.Such was the case when I first sat my board exam last year.This was painful because failures made me feel inadequate but I now know that there are no failures in God.And as my mentor would often say,"God reveals what He wants to heal." The bible states in Proverbs 19:21, "You can make many plans, but the LORD's purpose will prevail."

I will share further details later on why that season served purpose in my life.If you're like me,you receive countless questions about why you're still single.For a few months,I struggled with this but I soon realized that God was and is protecting me.The fact that I am single is not because I hate men, but because I NOW recognize my worth as a woman.Christ opened my eyes and showed me my true value in Him.When we enter relationships knowing that the person we're involved with emotionally and sexually is not good for us,we are creating soul-ties that become hard to break.

In addition to recognizing my worth,my desires in a man changed.As a teenager,I was concerned with marrying a tall,rich and handsome man but now I am more concerned with the spiritual needs.I am sure God will give me the aforementioned desires however,meeting a God-fearing man who knows who his purpose and identity is more important to me.I dated a spiritual man but we fell in love prematurely and he walked away from me.Fortunately,we're much happier as friends.So not only should we look for God's best in a mate,we must pray and seek God concerning the season.

So friends,don't spend another minute crying over the last relationship or locking yourself up in your bedroom because no one has asked you out.Being single is also a time of celebration because there is so much you can accomplish with God on your side.It's funny at times because I remember returning home for Christmas and as soon as I walked in the door and kissed my paternal grandmother,she asked me if I liked women.I knew her heart because she loves kids and felt that at 25,I should have been married but that didn't happen.So don't allow family and friends to upset you because you'll be attending dinner alone.Be confident that God makes no mistake and kindly let them know that you are content for where you are in life.Declare today that everything is working out for your good.But if you are not confident in your response,then you need to ask yourself why.Your status is not complicated unless YOU are complicated.

Make the decision to believe the best about your life.Things didn't work out the way you planned but God has something better in store for you but you must ENDURE this season.Make up in your mind that your marriage will be beautiful because you waited on God.Quit chasing someone who doesn't make time for you and love yourself first.Maximize this season.Go back to school;start your own business if it's God will for you;travel with friends or help improve the world through your gifts and talents.And who knows,while you are out celebrating being single and fabulous,you just may encounter the right person for YOU!

Single,Saved & Horny!!!!

Seriously, its 9:30 and Derek said he was going to come pick me up at 8 o’clock so we can eat before the movie starts and he still is not here. I can’t stand when he makes me put on his favorite red dress and doesn’t even call to apologize. Does this scenario sound familiar? For many of us, it does. To make matters worse, if you were sexually active prior to accepting Christ, your hormones didn’t go away. It seems as if your urges increases, being saved. Welcome to I’m single, saved and horny boulevard.

Sex has been a taboo in many churches for years and if you were not married, then you definitely were frowned upon asking sex-related questions. The problem I have with this continual cycle is that, how can one wait for marriage and date in a world where sex is displayed everywhere. Well, I am not here to tell you to stay away from the opposite sex, keep your T.V. off or pray 24 hours in your house. This is neither practical nor biblical.

Being saved should not exclude you from being able to express your sexuality, but expressing it in God’s way with your spouse- in time, is God’s desire. The word of God is replete with scriptures and stories as to why we should FLEE not play, with sexual immorality. I first want you to accept that it is normal for a Christian to get horny now and again. However, acting on the urges out of marriage is wrong.

After getting saved, there were things needed to be put in place so that I would not walk defeated as a young, single woman. Prayer is the beginning of controlling sexual desires. But another part of our walk with Christ should be about setting boundaries. If you know that every time your ex calls to say hi; you wear a certain outfit with your best friend or when you watch certain T.V. shows- you get horny, then you need to make changes.

I know it’s easier said than done, but these kinds of boundaries have truly helped me. As a woman, I tend to be emotional and sensitive around guys especially if I’m attracted to them, so I gave myself curfew on dates and even the telephone.

Sex is a beautiful thing, but God knew that people could not deal with the aftermath of fornication on their own, so He asked everyone to wait. When we give into fornication, painful soul ties are created, heartaches, depression, perversion and even addictions take us down a long road. The way I see it, God was thinking about our future before we were born. This, my friend is called the love of a Father. So the next time you get horny or want to give in, ask yourself whether you want to take the long road or do you want to the nearest exit to follow Christ?

When perfect becomes imperfect

This is one of those posts where the title makes you stop and think.

Like you,I get tired sometimes but my spirit won't allow me to give up because I have come too far.

For years,I was deceived into thinking that mistakes and failures make us irrelevant and when we fail,God becomes disappointed.

Unashamedly,I am being delivered from the opinions of others and it hurts but I know it's for my good. There are of lot of people who will say that they don't care what others think,but truth be told,some of those people are lying to themselves.

I no longer wish to lie or be lied to anymore about who I AM or what I do.

I thought I had already heard so many no's and walked in insecurity for too long and that chapter of my life was over.Well,I found out this week that now and again,God will cause some of His children to be denied, rejected and even fail ALL for His glory.

What glory you ask? The glory from a TEMPORARY setback is that we are not our failures and with or without success,God still calls us special.So until I am delivered from the "image of perfection",God is allowing me to endure contractions that only He can deliver me from.

The next few months will be painful but I need complete healing to take place-once and for all.

~Dr.Lorneka.

Transition

Transition.What is transition?

Transition is defined by dictionary.com as "process or period of changing from one state or condition to another."

If you are going through changes, be it physical and or/spiritual, it is very important that rely on the voice of God to either say Wait, Go or Be STILL!

Proverbs 3:6 says "...in all your ways acknowledge the Lord." This means that we should consult or communicate with Him about our going and coming.Even if it's something you think is small.

Making decisions in the midst of change that are temporary or not God-driven can lead you to misery or joy.

So today,if you are going through changes,consult God on what to do and then consider it a good thing because when you go through THIS change,you will come out greater than before.

God bless you beloved!

And the Lord did it-again

This past weekend was another triumphant moment for me.After six to seven years,I graduated with my doctorate of pharmacy from the College of Pharmacy at Florida A&M University in Tallahassee.

Aside from celebrating this huge accomplishment, I was really amazed at the things that God did through my family while we were together.Since my mother and grand-mother's death,my family grew apart because our house was the place where everyone gathered most of the time.I don't believe it was intentional but when I traveled back home to Nassau on breaks,I noticed the changes and began praying for God to mend this area.

Reconciliation is God's greatest ministry and so whenever I recognize there is a breach in my relationships (family/friends), I try to become a change agent.This also stems from the fact that my family and I had so many funerals so it's really important that forgiveness, love and service becomes a daily act between us even though we are not in the same country.

But I want to thank God for the chain-breaking moments that occurred this weekend.I was blessed to have my baby brother with me and my step-father reached out to me in more ways than one and this really caught me by surprise.I was hurt when he did not come to assist me with my mother in her last stages of multiple sclerosis.However,he too was hurt by her death but I became selfish and felt that he owed me an apology for the lies and disappointments.I was wrong for thinking he owed me an apology so for this,I am grateful.

Last but not least, God revealed some of the plans He has for me through my mentor and covenant sisters via prophetic words.At first I struggled with the plans because I couldn't see myself doing some of the things but that started to change today.My covenant sisters are all powerful and anointed in their respective places and it's an honor to be in a relationship with them as we're being discipled my mentor and God-mother.

I don't know who will read this post but I want to encourage you to go and act on the dreams that God placed on the inside of you.My motivation came from my mother's unnecessary death but I prayed about this career choice and God made it happen because I had CRAZY faith.So if you're struggling and somehow your dreams died along the way, I speak LIFE over you right now and I challenge you to dream AGAIN.

It's time to give God and the world all you've got.One of my favorite authors,Dr.Myles Munroe said it best. And I quote, "The graveyard is the richest place on the surface of the earth because there you will see the books that were not published, ideas that were not harnessed, songs that were not sung, and drama pieces that were never acted."

If God fulfilled my dreams with $206,two denials from immigration,seven deaths in eight years,a rejection letter from the school that later accepted me into their program a year later and two degrees,surely He wants to do wonders through you as well. So be encouraged and find your dream place again and activate your faith today so you too can say,

And the Lord did it - again!

God bless you.

My mentor & I at my graduation

Why is nothing happening?

It's February 25th, 2013 and you are still waiting on a few things to happen in your life.Well, I want to encourage you to go back to your vows that you made earlier in the year or for some of you,last year.

If we are not careful,we tend to blame God and the devil for a lot of things which we are responsible for. As it relates to the vows I mentioned earlier,those vows were made either in our hearts or written down as a New Year's Eve resolution.After giving my life to Christ,making vows at the beginning of the year and breaking them by Valentine's day was not a smart thing to keep doing at all.

Why is this not a good thing? In the word of God,Ecclesiastes 5:5 states "It is better to not make a vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it." I love the New Living Translation (NLV) which states- "it is better to say nothing than to make a promise and not keep it."

Now I know you're probably thinking that the vows you silently made in your heart or to God are not important.Well, if they were not important, then why did you decide to even waste time thinking about it?

It is very important that you and I focus on being intentional about our character and the things we want to see manifest in the earth.Go back to your drawing board, your journal, your mind and think on the reasons as to why the goals you want are not in your frontal view.The year is not over and God is a God of a second chance but you must be intentional about working alongside Him so He can help make your plans reality. Renew your mind and get back to January 1st,2013 where you were so excited to live.

And if you have become discouraged along the way,do yourself a favor and pull on your faith to strengthen you again for the journey ahead.One area that constantly changes for me is my prayer life.We all say that prayer changes things but yet we devote little time to the thing that is so powerful. Prayer is not hard. Prayer is simply a dialogue (not a monologue) with God. It must become an essential element of your life.God promised to never leave us nor forsake us.So I leave you with this question- "have you forsaken Him or have you broken a vow."

God bless you.

I'm trying but it still hurts!

Are you are still stuck with your feelings of hurt and bitterness and can’t experience TRUE freedom.Well,I am going to explain how God instructed me to walk out forgiveness.

Everyone has been hurt mostly by loved ones,which is why it hurts so much.In the beginning according to Genesis 1:27, God created man in His image,male and female. Which means in His image,there shouldn't be anger,bitterness,unforgiveness or any form of pride.But this is not the case.

It's challenging to forgive someone who has hurt you but doing it alone is even harder that's why we need Christ.So you're probably asking,"how do I start to let go of the pain and hurt that I am feeling towards______?" (Fill in the blank with a name(s) which may also include yourself ).

First,confess that you are hurt because someone disappointed you.Hurt comes from having an unmet expectation.You and I at some point asked someone to do something for us or we assumed that a certain person understood what we needed/wanted but instead, our expectation fell to the ground.To make matters worse,the person who hurt you did not acknowledge what they did nor did they apologize for what happened.The audacity!

We tend to believe that people who hurt us know they are hurting us or just because we are close,they should have known better.Unless you ask for something from someone albeit,a family/friend,no one aside from God knows what you thoughts 24/7.Human beings are strongly capable of making errors and this is why Psalms 118:8 states that,"it is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.The description of "man"  can include parents, spouses, children,employers,soul mates, leaders, girlfriends and more.

I am not telling you to quit trusting people.We can trust people but not more than God.Trusting people more than God leads to unnecessary heartache.

Secondly,make a list of names of the people who hurt you.Think about the people you hurt as well.Being honest shows God that you mean business.For example, if you are praying for a car and God gave you a used red-Honda that doesn't have a transmission then you can’t get upset. If you wanted a new 4-door blue Infinity with leather seats then pray for it according to your faith.God still specializes in specifics contrary to popular belief.

When I created my list years ago,it was hard to do because the pain I endured returned and I was not ready to deal with the issues.Here comes the hardest part.You MUST meet with the person(s) if possible to talk.Holding issues in your heart does not make you nice,it keeps you in bondage.If you have to dig through emails,make an appointment or leave messages, do YOUR part so God can find you blameless.But if the person refuses after you've tried, not just once,then God will honor that.

I understand that you're too busy to deal with the pain right now because it’s too heavy but WHEN will you face it? When the person dies and you tell them rest in peace? Aren't you tired of crying and aching? When you don't forgive and the person has moved on,you are being controlled by satan himself.This opens doors for other evil forces to overwhelm you.When we delay our healing, we delay our freedom.

Next, begin to pray this prayer."God help me to forgive____ for what they did to me and heal my broken heart." You are to exercise this until you experience breakthrough.Do not quit on the first week or month.I'll ask you again. Aren't you tired of crying,aching and pretending?

I knew that my daddy's absence was the cause of rejection I had as a child..After reading the word and going to services,I knew we had to talk soon.One day while mourning the loss of my grandmother,the Holy Spirit said it was time to have "the talk." As my chest began to tighten and tears began to fall,I begged my daddy to sit down and listen to me.The issues were rejection,molestation and secrets my mother (deceased) and other family members hid from me.

I needed some answers to help me become whole.The time to peel off the mask you wear on Sunday is NOW.I know you're probably thinking Lorneka you do not know what they did to me.“I told them to keep it a secret?” “I gave him my heart and he lied” “I lost so much money” or “She stabbed me in the back and I was a good friend” and the list goes on.I am not here to belittle your events.I am here to tell you that there is a better way to live.

The only way God answers our prayers of forgiveness is when we forgive those who trespassed against us.Could it be that some of our prayers are unanswered is because we are holding on to a grudge? Let that sink in because this was hard for me to swallow too.

Forgiveness is about YOU.It's not easy but anything worth having takes FAITH.And that faith my dear cannot be placed into the hands of a human being.

My list of names has gotten shorter because I now enjoy pleasing God.When I know I offend someone,I quickly repent and apologize.As you forgive,you will start to experience peace. That night after crying,screaming and hugging my daddy,I slept like a baby.The "talk" was very therapeutic for me.The bible also tells me to honor my mother and father so that my days shall be long (Exodus 20:12).How can my days be long when I disliked being around my daddy much less do anything for him without complaining?

So after being rejected for 20 years,God has healed my heart in 7 years concerning my daddy all because I was sick and tired of being--sick and tired.I also forgave my molester.So I hope truly release those who have hurt you.It will not be easy but with God ALL things are possible to him that believes.If you need help with this,pray about who to go to but start YOUR work and do it now.Your future awaits your call to truly forgive!!

My daddy and I at my birthday celebration. #daddy's-girl
We talk every other day and see each other at least twice a week now.

If God healed me,I want the same for you,

Signed Lorneka

Am I a prostitute?

No I know that many of you reading this post know that you are NOT a prostitute.

But ask yourself, “What part of me have I given away in exchange for money?”

When I looked up prostitution, several definitions stood out at me. One source defines prostitution as the practice or occupation of engaging in sex with someone for payment.

But the definition that jumped out at me was one who sells one's abilities, talent, or name for an unworthy purpose. Could it be that we're prostituting what God gave us for His glory and we are abusing it?

Well for my church folks, I may be confused because you're waiting for your spouse; you do not fornicate and everyone in the church knows your name and the walls come down when you sing. Sure. But God gave you a gift but you've placed a price tag on it and you won’t help anyone unless your wants are met!

I woke up this morning with this on my heart as God asked how many of His children are prostituting themselves in exchange for death and not for Him. Our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit and our temples house our God-given gifts and talents.

Years ago, I made a deal with God that if He delivered me from the unbearable pain that I was enduring at the time, I would become celibate until marriage. Thankfully, we both kept our deals and I owe it all to Him. However, I still have to be discerning to other demonic spirits that want to buy me in exchange for temporary satisfaction.When I gave a man a part of me, I always left empty handed and broken. This then transferred over into my other relationships and I soon became weary.

To my single brothers and sisters, consider your ways. I don’t care how you pretty it up, if you’re in a relationship where your bills are being paid, you receive gifts in exchange for sex- you are a prostitute. Point, blank period. If someone loves you but does not find you worthy enough to marry, leave that person alone. Jesus bled and died for you and I to have a life of freedom- not a life of bondage.

So, I ask this question again? Are you a prostitute or not? If you are, repent now.Stop selling yourself & find true freedom in the arms of Jesus.

New-age idolatry

Today marks day 15 of what I call a detoxifying process.Since my return home to Miami to complete my final year in school,so much has happened (good and bad).The good thing about rotations (unpaid clerkship)  is that I get to spend time with my family and live outside my books.This has been a challenge for me but I am walking out my dream so fun went to the bottom of my bucket list.

As it relates to the bad,it's not what you're probably thinking.There are no financial or physical hardships per se but I have walked away from my first love and it hurts.My schedule every week has been 9-5,choir rehearsal through the week and socializing with my family.I transitioned to another church and I am also being pulled every other weekend to do something towards my career.No longer was I consistent with the schedule I had in college waking up early to pray,fast and devote time to God.My first love had now become a burden to communicate with.This is a no-no.I desire to still live as if there is a heaven and a hell.

So as I headed to work October 1st to help with a flu clinic,God asked me how bad I wanted to be on fire for Him again.His voice was loud but yet subtle.I responded internally with, "I need you badly."He then asked me to deactivate my facebook account and allot some time to either pray or read my bible because my spirit was on "E".He told me just because everyone else was being "busy",doesn't mean I should follow the crowd.So I am now reading the celebration of discipline.I am an encourager by nature but I was not re-fueling myself after pouring out myself to everybody else.Another area that changed was my physical body.I was so fatigue after work to the point where I would wake up the next day.My weight also increased.

Life is good and I have nothing to complain about but God literally instructed three of my loved ones to question me about my spiritual life out of no where.I believe this was a warning and also preparation for my next level.My fasting has been inconsistent.I also had an itch to do stuff when God was telling me to sit still and rest. Somehow,I allowed the distractions and idols of my heart to ignore "the voice" that has given me-LIFE.This voice is my first love-Jesus Christ.I now understand what it means when I hear folks say when everything is good,you don't need God.But when things are bad,we pray and seek God more.Everything good is not always from God.So if you and I are not doing things that bear fruit or advances the kingdom of God,we are operating in idolatry.An idol is anything that takes the place of God.

I thank God for the refreshment,rejuvenation and self evaluation.If you are located in this same place,pray this prayer.God,I repent to you and Jesus Christ for creating idols (myself, people, food, and being busy) in my heart.I repent for not being kingdom driven and telling you what I want to do.Obedience is what you desire from me always.Thank you for grace to start over again.I miss you.Help me oh Lord to get rid of ALL idols so I can seek first the kingdom of God and remain in love with Jesus Christ.

Psychiatric disorders

This week,I began training on a psychiatric ward with one of my professors for a month.Week one was really interesting but more eye-opening.Due to the fact that I had moments of depression growing up,I am very compassionate towards those who are diagnosed with mental disorders.

Depression can affect anyone at any point in life.There are many factors that can cause depression but according to experts and scientists,there is a chemical imbalance in the brain.The chemicals that are imbalanced are called neurotransmitters (NTs).The main types of NTs involved in depression are norepinephrine (NE), serotonin (5-HT) and dopamine (DA).Genetics also plays a role in these disorders.I know your brain probably hurts from all the terminology but understanding the cause of a problem can actually help fix the problem.

I believe that I’m being trained on a psychiatric ward to expand my knowledge as an intern pharmacist but to also be a blessing.The interesting thing about the psych patients I have met thus far is that most of them look normal.Psychiatric disorders such as depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety and substance abuse are not detectable to the naked eyes.We all know people who are hurting inside but they are smiling on the outside. So people need to be diagnosed by psychiatrists because if left untreated, death can occur.

Thursday, a well-known music producer/manager by the name of Darrel Lighty (aka Chris Lighty) killed himself after an altercation with his wife according to New York’s daily news.This, shortly after 68 year-old film director Tony Scott committed suicide last week Sunday.There are more stories of suicide but I want you to recognize that mental disorders can overtake anyone who does not seek medical attention.My heart goes out to the families especially the children involved. More and more teenagers are being affected by mental disorders and this hurts my heart.

My goal is to bring awareness to the silent but yet-loud thoughts in our minds that we encounter in the midst of painful situations.We live in a society where sharing weaknesses brings shame, ridicule and embarrassment.I want to let you know that if you feel hopeless,defeated or having thoughts of suicide, it is OKAY to cry out for help.This does not mean that you are weak.Confessing your weakness according to the bible actually makes YOU strong.

While interacting with bipolar and depressed patients who self mutilate themselves to escape pain, I have come to realize that committing suicide is a selfish act. Why is it selfish? It is selfish because there are people who are counting on us to live because our presence means something to them whether we believe it or not. Then there are people who do not have family or friends around but God did not create anyone out of purpose.Everyone on this earth has a purpose.

The advancements in science as it relates to treating mental disorders have come a long way.There are a lot of patients who are being treated professionally and their lives are improving significantly. It may take some time before you can get back to living normally again, but your life is valuable so do NOT give up.

In conclusion,the bible promises us that we will experience trials in this life but please find someone to talk to who will not judge you but help you. It doesn’t matter how old you are (13 or 60 years old), you deserve to live a normal life again. I believe that God can heal your mind and spirit because He loves you. I was fortunate enough to recognize my need for help as a teenager and I reached out for help. However, two years ago I had an anxiety attack and was rushed to the hospital and it has changed my life.I have learned to relax, pray and find ways to release stress and frustration.I hope this post helps you to evaluate your life and save it because you’re worth living.

I know it hurts so bad but trust me there is life- AFTER the pain.

Feel free to comment or send me an email to ladylorneka@gmail.com

Don't judge me

For the past few months, I've been reading and hearing these words everywhere.I am sure you've heard it or maybe you said it yourself.I am guilty and I have a repented heart.But I would like to discuss the root of what I believe is the beginning of destruction even if it's a joke. Jokes,as I am learning are still powerful because they are spoken words and the earth does not know the difference. So we get, what we give out. That's another blog post.

I decided to blog about this because I believe that if we do not get back to loving each other in the ways of God,we will destroy each other out of God.

Before going into detail about why the flesh does not like being judged,let us talk about the human body. The body (flesh) likes to be fed 24 hours a day.As long as it has a feeder,it will accept invitations of pleasure. So, when it comes to feeding the spirit man and not the flesh,a war is created. If you ever notice when you are trying to do something positive that builds your inner man,your flesh gets upset and then you get weak in the process.Your body does not like to be disciplined unless you first condition your mind.

I say all that to say,making statements such as "don't judge me" is not only telling someone to leave you alone, but it is also telling others, "let me do what I want even if it destroys me." This is NOT God's definition of love. In today's society,where a lot of people know it all, wanting to be disciplined or receive correction is not popular. But if we keep asking God to help us be more like Jesus and yet ignore his instructions when it comes through anyone,we will all become the walking "dead."

I understand that no one is perfect and everyone is not qualified to tell you what to do.However,as an adult you must identify folks in your life who love you and can correct you. But if you get to the place where you do not want to be disciplined or when you hear the word of God,you throw a tantrum, please call for help. The reason I say call for help is because the enemy of your soul wants to destroy you, keep you in the dark and harden your heart concerning the things of God.This is a very dangerous place.

Recently,I've been studying the book of Corinthians and it's interesting.When Paul was talking to the people of Corinthians about judging,he was referring to judging believers in the church and not the world.God did not call us to judge unbelievers, but believers of Christ should be able to receive correction based on the bible.It's painful how we all use scriptures and add our twist for convenient pleasure.So anyhow, if believers of Jesus Christ are doing things that are ungodly,we must ask ourselves is there something I'm doing wrong or am I too prideful to confess my need for help?

Pray this prayer: Lord I repent for everything that I have said that was not your will for my life.Help me to be more like Jesus and give me a pliable heart where I can receive correction from you and the Holy Spirit.There are habits I need to change but I don't know how to stop them.Please hear my cry for help and answer me in Jesus name,Amen.

Reality TV or reality?

Two years ago while on a summer break, my cousin asked me one night to come and watch a new show with her in the living room.So ten minutes into the show,I noticed that my spirit began grieving at the consistent use of curse words. I thought to myself, "well I don't curse so this show is NOT going to affect me." I was completely wrong.

The actresses in this show were famous through past relationships and their financial statuses in their community. It's called Reality TV. Time went on every Sunday and I eventually became a fan of this show.I found myself getting upset when I could not watch it. Now after a few episodes something in me asked "what is this doing for you?" I blatantly ignored the voice and carried on entertaining myself as if damage was not occurring.

The idea of being a born-again christian,sitting down watching unmarried people prostitute themselves for money, fame & still call themselves classy is suppose to be convicting enough,for me to turn the "tube" off. Needless to say, I cannot keep ignoring "the voice" which is the Holy Spirit and destroy what God has been repairing all these years- Me. It was exciting getting on social networks ranting & gossiping about the various shows every week. I even began using similar languages expressed in the shows, all for FUN. As the shows progressed, people started realizing that the entertainment was foolishness.

However, as I draw near to God, I have to put away childish behavior.Which means if God doesn't like something according to the word, then I should not like it as well. Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind...."
In other words God is saying, you cannot allow the words & ways of unbelieving Christians to become a lifestyle for you.If God doesn't condone fornication,adultery,fighting,gossip,drunkenness, idolatry and other forms of evil, then I need to renew my mind & stop entertaining others who do.

So this week I've started cutting out the mess of what the world calls entertainment.I'm challenging myself and others to be very cautious as to what is entertaining to us and do some evaluations.I have to now replace the desire to do something that will feed me or not take away from my spirit man.I conclude with this thought someone shared with me.The word enter-tain-ment originally comes from the word "detain or hold".So the idea or substance being viewed "enters" the vessel without them knowing.This my friend is REAL-ity.

I need air

It's 78 degrees here in Nassau & the atmosphere is peaceful.I decided to go running in the afternoon because I missed the sunrise. Nonetheless,I did it.But as I began walking for about 15 mins,I started to expire very heavily. I usually warm up for at least 7 mins but only warmed up for 3 mins today. Problem #1- chose a shortcut when I shouldn't have.

So I began walking and my chest started to get tight and I turned around to see how far my house was so that I could turn back but I had walked too far to return.Problem #2-looking back.As I continued, I literally felt my oxygen level being restored.This was a sign of relief.

I was able to start running and got to the first traffic light without stopping. So I kept running and running until I felt the tightness in my chest. Now when I felt the tightness the second time, it was different because I became thirsty. I didn't have money to buy a bottle of water at the nearest  convenience store.Problem #3-looking at what I don't have.But I was not going to allow my current state to hinder me from taking my hour walk/run.

In life,we all know that there is something we are supposed to do that makes us happy but somehow along the way, our chest gets tight and we need a little bit of water.Ten minutes away from home, God told me that when I run out of air, resources and people to encourage me on this race, I need to call on Him who is the creator of ALL resources. The word of God already tells us that we will encounter struggles, but lacking the ABILITY to deal with added struggles comes from a lack of calling on our heavenly father.

I was encouraged today by the "drop of life" that was given to me. I encourage you to keep walking on your path to YOUR destined purpose in life. You will get tired.You will need to take a break.You will feel as if you're about to collapse.You will want to hit people who may try to get in your way.You will need some "water"- which should be faith.But I beg of you, do NOT give up.If you run out of "air" call on the most resourceful person of all & say to Him " I need air please......help me."

Boy meets world

Thursday evening,I had the chance to talk to an old friend who is- "the man." Continue reading so you can understand why I refer to him as "the man".I am sharing this because I believe that this will help someone understand the role of men as it relates to purpose.

This friend and I spent a few times talking in high school,but aside from having swag,poetic skills as a rap artist and cute,his aura of "acting" like a thug was intimidating.The reason I say that he was acting like a thug is because God gave me an x-ray vision that there was a tender,wounded and intellectual man trapped inside his body.He was not an average guy at all. He wore braided hair for a while and was always prepared to fight if people stepped to him or his bestfriend (now deceased) the wrong way,but in the classroom- a genius. Again, not your average guy.

Twelve years later, that wounded and intellectual young man has been strategically place on the path to SEEK out purpose.He recently celebrated the birth of his beautiful princess and according to him- he will never be or think the same because of this.I had just left work telling God in my car that corporate America only cares about productivity,numbers and not the person behind the productivity. He felt the same way too.So I am on a prayerful quest to find God's purpose for my life.That's another blog.

I will not be able to share all the details about our conversation because you will be reading all night. What amazed me about my friend is how much he has gone through as a young man, but mostly his thirst for a relationship(not religion) with God and vision for his family. As a woman,I often think about why some men toss their penis every chance they get;why they leave their children to fend for themselves or why it's so hard for them to commit to anything. But my friend began to share with me how the absence of his father contributed to his brokenness as a man.After living a life where driving luxury cars,traveling and wearing the best was not an issue- life was not always good.So ladies,we're not the only ones who are dealing with things.Men aren't emotional so we will never "see" the pressures they are faced with day to day.So pray and praise a man who tries to share his life with you but is struggling with communication.

Anyway,I sat in awe as he described the night that he had a gun held in between his eyes and how his baby brother was shot in the leg because the robbers thought that he was a drug dealer.Now I know you're wondering how he was able to live such a lavish life.Well, he comes from a family of hard-working men that believed in providing for generations.His mother, owned a prospering day care center.So he inherited the entrepreneurship spirit and started businesses of his own. He has a love for music but he is still motivated to believe that even out of wed lock, his daughter is NOT a mistake and God will establish him in time.I will also add that he is providing for his girlfriend and making sure she fulfills her dream while God is working on him.Again,he is "the man."

My friend's dad was in and out of his life;married at least 3 times;now separated and is now seeing a woman half his age.For everything that he believes he was suppose to know and develop into as a man, his father did not teach him those things.His father's absence created insurmountable pain for him & his siblings that God is now repairing.Today,my friend has been on a quest for the past two years dissecting the word of God,learning about the kingdom and making sense of what it means to be a father and LEAVE behind a legacy.He now spends long hours being fed at the table of great men such as Dr.Myles Munroe and Dr.Creflo Dollar in his home.

So what am I saying to you? I am a firm believer that a man is the head of a household and a woman's job is to help him with an already-given vision.The reason why the body of Christ is in shambles is because the enemy is on a never-ending quest to steal,kill and destroy the men.From the government,to businesses and ministries, men are the vessels that God uses to maintain structure.But as we watch the news around the world,the majority of men who are alive are not even persuaded to wanna talk about God, much less walk in obedience.I will pray for him as he prepares to sit down and share his heart with his dad.

So if you're a man who is reading this blog,I charge you to find out who you are supposed to be in God,evaluate your past decisions and begin to seek answers.If you're a woman reading this,do the same.But what empowered me while talking to my friend is that there are young men out there who want answers but need guidance.I find it sexy when a man is not intimidated by people because he knows his identity.Finally,I'm reminded of the analogy he gave me of how when a kid is crossing the street, they lift their hand up because they may get hit by a car crossing alone.As a christians,it's time to lift up our hands AGAIN and let God re-define us and show us how to SEEK a life of purpose.I celebrate my friend and other broken men on a quest for purpose because it's only a matter of time before God establishes them

10 Tips to help you while single

Co-worker:"Lorneka,why are you still single?" You're very pretty,educated and you're getting older.

Family-member:"Do you prefer women because so many men hurt you before ?" *shakes my head*

I'm sure these questions sound familiar.My prayer is that,what the Holy spirit gave me,blesses you.It's a challenge to remain pure in a contaminated-world but it is possible for singles to live pure & holy.

Going shopping for Mr.Right-for-you is not God's plan for us as women.So praise God that you are single,going to church and waiting because it could be worse.Find your identity and confidence in Christ and do NOT allow anyone to frustrate you in this season.But here's my question - "do you really know how to identify a Godly-man?" Well,here are some tips to help you while waiting:

1. Desire a man who has character and not just charisma.Charisma will NOT save your soul.

2. Be honest with yourself.Identify your non-negotiables. For example,I need a man who understands tithing because God commands everyone to tithe.This is not open for discussion.

3. Dating or not,make sure the man you want knows how to develop or bring the best out of you.

4. Talk about his family,finances and spiritual life.If you have to make him go to church or pray,the relationship won't last so find the nearest exit and leave.

5. Observe his spiritual life outside of church.Personally,if I am leading prayer all the time or wanting to seek God on issues,this is an unequally yoked relationship.

6. Date yourself.Get your hair done,take a vacation or journal at your favorite restaurant while looking fabulous.Do not wait on a man to enjoy life.Men are impressed by a confident-woman.

7. Pray,study the word & seek healing.Open-wounds from the past can affect other areas of your life.

8. Set BOUNDARIES.Find a mature/accountable sister.For e.g,if you struggle with fornication,opt for group dating or set a curfew should you choose to go on a date with a man.

9. Watch and TEST potential guys.Every guy you meet is not your husband & everyone has motives.
If God did not tell you he is your husband,bring your emotions subject and keep moving.

10. Invest in your PURPOSE.When you get married,your personal dreams become second and your husband/family becomes priority over your social life.Paul talks about this in Corinthians.Don't put off what you can accomplish today.Use this time wisely.

For the past ten years,I've found power in the CROSS & I am happier than ever because I decided to surrender.I love marriage but I will not sit & wallow about what's not happening - YET.Accept where you are & know that "...No good thing shall He (God) withhold from you."(Psalm 84:11)

Cheers to your single & fabulous journey!

Mighty are His works!!!!!!

As a desire to grow in my relationship with God,there are sacrifices that need to be made along the way. My God-mother and I have selected one day out of the week to interceed for others and be renewed.I am a believer that when I take time out for others,God will take care of me.It's important for us as a society to give back and do for others.So along with intercession,there is a scripture that we focus on every week.

So the theme for the day is "What a Mighty God we Serve!
A smile came to my face when I saw the theme.I had to take a minute and really think about how mighty God has been to me in the midst of my recent struggles.I was dismissed early from class and was led to come home before I study and worship, by writing a love letter to my MIGHTY God.

Here is the scripture reference: Psalm77:12 says,  "I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.” And as I pray today, I will remember what a “Mighty God” we serve.

The part that stuck out to me this morning was....."consider all your works and meditate......." I am going through trials just like you and I had to remind myself of the works He has performed.So I'm encouraging YOU to write out those deeds.To my heavenly Daddy and the world,here are the Mighty deeds that made me grateful and sensitive today.

• I am grateful that I drove to school this morning in a car after my old car's engine blew out on me last week on the highway
• I am grateful that I have some food in my house to eat with less than $10 in my bank account
• I am grateful my dream of becoming a pharmacist is near completion
• I am grateful that my past relationships did not kill me and it was NOT the end of my story
• I am grateful that I am healed & no longer crying in a closet over a broken relationship
• I am grateful the curse of death was broken off of my family.Funerals drained me but I'm well
• I am grateful that when I laugh and smile now,it's not a fake smile.It's real!
• I am grateful that my bills were paid last year and I didn't even have a job.I lived off financial aid and God opened doors
• I am grateful God's plans for me are WAY bigger than what I am seeing now.
• I am sooooo grateful to be loved by a God that loves me despite my attitude and selfishness. I'm  glad that I don't have to buy his love anymore to be accepted.

I AM so grateful right now that there isn't enough space to keep typing them all. But I hope this has blessed you as it is blessing me. As I think about what I am grateful for,it is encouraging me in the Lord and to pray for those who are hurting and forgot how Mighty are His works. I speak life over everyone who falls upon this post.Do as the word says and remind yourself and satan of what God did for YOU in the past because they're TOO mighty to be forgotten. Be blessed

Can he tell who you serve?

One of my best friends and I have been talking about a plethora of issues for the past few months. The issues range from politics to relationships to entrepreneurship to church. But the topic that we  often revisit is relationships.My best friend and I are not relationship experts, but we believe that God is a god of unity.If you were to meet him one day, you will know that he loves women all day and all night. John (as he shall be called for now), who is almost 40 years old believes that all women are gold diggers, commitment cost too much and if he wants pleasure, he can go to a strip club for some drinks with the boys.

Being a woman is a blessing and it also can become a burden if you don't know who you are or what you want from life. I'm not the only woman who has created a bucket list for meeting men. My best friend is not my ideal guy because he is not born again.I tried to change him in the beginning and then realized if he accepts me for being spiritual, then it was time for me to let him be and just keep praying for him or find another friend.Years later, he is the most faithful guy friend I know. So from experience ladies, stop trying to change a man to become your Mr.Perfect. If he doesn’t have what you want or need in a guy, leave him alone and move on!!! I know it's easier said than done but if I did it before, surely God can do the same through you if YOU let Him.

John's father owns a very successful produce company; he’s a great giver and loves the ladies. Did you recognize a spirit between John and his dad? Hope you did. Over the past 4 years, we have only met maybe 4 or 5 times to have lunch because he lives in another state. So we’ve built an amazing telephone and cyber relationship lol. But contrary to what the world thinks, a relationship can experience true intimacy outside of sex. John knows me well and we both know when to back off each other and when we just need to pray. He even knows when it's that time of the month and all I want him to do is shut up and listen to me scream on the phone.Sounds like the perfect guy huh? Yeah I know. But keep reading because I'm about to take you somewhere.

John knows that I take my spiritual life seriously. He’s never disrespected me but throughout the years, he has created an image of a Christian through me.If he curses on the phone, he apologizes because he knows I don't curse.Now remember I mentioned earlier that being a woman can become a burden if we're not careful.Somehow I've allowed my heart to overpower my emotions knowing that I cannot get what my flesh wants.So last month we both fasted from the telephone so I can stay focus on my journey. This is about saving my soul. I recognized that I started to fall in love with the thought of being in love again. So what's wrong with that? Nothing. It's a problem when our emotions get entangled with the WRONG person at the WRONG time. I refuse to make myself believe a lie that we can be more than just friends (humming “We can’t be friends” by Deborah Cox). As believers, we must stop negotiating with the devil. The word of God is here to protect us. God promises that if we wait on Him, seek his kingdom first, he will give us everything that we need—which includes a spouse.

But if we say as women that a man will respect us and then do things contrary to our words-that’s called hypocrisy. Last year while on the phone, John said that Christian girls are so
fake.I asked him to explain. He began to share with me of how he got a Christian girl who was involved in ministry to fornicate. First of all, I called him out. But he made me see the problem. He said the girl told him she was saving herself for marriage but always wanted to “chill out” with him knowing he loves sex. So of course, he took her out a lot and next thing he knew, one night home girl was screaming his name. OMG!!! I told him he was a dog and he was going to hell for that. But was it really his fault? Ladies please set a standard and let’s not put ourselves in positions that will cause us to fall. The enemy is out to steal, kill and destroy 24 hours a day!

I love my soul too much and had too many heart breaks. God has done an awesome job healing my broken heart over the years. John said that I need to keep my emotions in check because he is not the one for me. In a world where everyone is having sex, I am the only friend he has that lives what she reads.To John, I’m literally a saint. Why? I get so pissed when he calls me Mother Teresa because I’m saving myself for marriage & not dating guys for fun. These last few words brought tears to my eyes. John said that as long as he lives and has hormones, he will not come near me because he’s a man that is now physically attracted to me. He does not want to be responsible for getting me pregnant and not fulfilling purpose. John said that I am marriage material and nothing less. I was quiet for at least 5 minutes.I am so blessed because God placed a man in my life that loves my soul more than my body. God has showed him a glimpse of how powerful I AM even though I haven’t seen it yet. So what’s my point you ask? Don’t live and make major life decisions based on your emotions. Emotions will get you in trouble especially if you’re a woman. Do not follow your flesh. Instead hold your head up, set standards and ACT like a Proverbs 31 woman and wait for your king? So choose you this day who YOU will serve.

Self Image

Today we live in a society where image and reputation is everything. From the way we look down to the house we live in, the car we drive and or even clothing labels. Growing up as a teenager in a home with love and from my family, I still struggled with my self image.

Now when I looked up the word self image in the Webster's dictionary, it is defined as one's own idea or self perception".Things can be perceived in so many ways. If I were to ask three students in a classroom to describe a picture painted by Michelangelo, I would get different adjectives.Would any of them be wrong? No. Why? Because they described to me what they saw.What I am trying to say is that we all perceive things differently.

My mom never gave me the perception that my self image was a problem. She always taught me that how I perceived myself is important.But the question is why did I feel as though my physical shape was all wrong? I often thought to myself why my friends had longer hair than I did, or how come the other girls hips were much bigger than mine or how come I was the shortest in the neighborhood? This was how I saw myself.I thought the way I was born was all a mistake.It even got to the point where I would starve myself and attempted to commit suicide so I could escape my mind.There were other factors that came into play with my self-image.

     I admired artists like Brandy, Tamia, and Beyonce. The way they dressed and how men would just lust after them. I remember my mother taking me to the salon to change my hair-style every 2 weeks and buy me new clothes when she could.To be honest after all that,I still felt something wasn't right with me.That feeling that I had was all because it was not about my physical structure, but all internal.Trying to look like a celebrity and adding weave to my hair was becoming exhausting and costly.

     Years later, I came to know someone who would help me see that there was no mistake in the way I looked.His name is Jesus.The scripture that I can first remember and never forget is Genesis 1:27-
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of GOD he created Him;male and female he created them". If God made me in his image then that means that I resemble him in a realm that I can't see. From the various science books of the theorists and their opinions and how this world was created, they all concur that God is an artist whose personality is mysterious.

     Basically as I take this time to encourage myself and have a panoramic view of what I should look like, I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and point out all those areas you don't like and ask why.While looking, you should also realize unless you're a twin (whom by the way has differences), you are a designer's ORIGINAL.There is no one who looks like you or can be you, other than you.So what if I don't have round hips like Beyonce, long hair like Ashanti or legs like Tyra Banks, that's not the image I was meant to have.Learn to wake up daily and love on yourself. Tell yourself daily no one looks like me,I am righteous,loveable,wonderful and I AM a designer's ORIGINAL.

Then I noticed as I started to accept the image I was created in and began placing a higher value on  knowing who I belonged to, people started seeing me differently as well. People around me saw me as this flawless beautiful woman inspite of what I thought was wrong at the time.God's desire is that we see what He sees.

Because no matter how much surgery you have,tattoos or breast implants you have,YOU have to realize that your image must change inside first so you could be at ease with how you were made. YOU ARE NO MISTAKE!!!!

What If?

As I sit and think about past fears,I begin to bask in the wonders and awesomeness of my God. I remember the first time that I relocated from the Bahamas to the United States after 20 years. The decision came as a result of wanting a better life than the one I had left behind and pursue my career. Of course the only thing that ran through my mind as the plane lifted off the ground was "what if this is not right?" Forty-five minutes later, the plane landed and home was no longer in sight.I left a place where everyone I knew that loved me was there,family friends, my job, transferred out of college, sold my car and every possession that my mother gave me after her death.

 

     The outcome of re-developing a relationship with a man I had not seen in 13 years was scary. Sitting in the waiting area of Miami International Airport, adrenaline rushed through my body as a man approached me.Right away I wanted to scream and run away,but he looked into my eyes with a look of happiness and smiled and said, "hi coo coo". Coo coo is the name my mother said he called me when I was an infant.I felt like I knew him from somewhere.This man was my biological father.I was embraced in his home with my step-family.We had so many challenges along the way, but 2 and 1/2 years later,we have become the best of friends.

     I said that all to say had I dwelled on the thought of "what if", my I would have never reconciled with my father.Was this my idea....not really. For all I knew he had other children and I didn't need him after I became an adult. It was all apart of God's plan and purpose for my life. I have also been re-born again into the Kingdom of God and I will never turn back. Like me, you probably have thoughts that go through your minds that start with a...what if......?

What if my family doesn't forgive me for leaving?

What if my boyfriend leaves me?

What if I get persecuted for my belief in Jesus Christ?

What if I get fired and I have no way of paying my bills?

What if I tell the truth and they don't believe me?

What if I fall in love again and get abused again?

What if this is not the best school God wanted me to attend?

What if this is not the person God told me to marry?............... and the list goes on and on.

By stepping out on faith and just trusting God,I guarantee you that you would begin to decrease the amount of time you dwell on the unknown. The bible tells us that' without faith it is impossible to please God '. I am a living witness that when you stop the 'what ifs' and just begin to move on that voice that dwells in you...all will begin to fall right into place. So no longer as a Christian do I ask so many 'what if'.But now I come against that spirit of fear. Doubt is a lack of trust. Fear is a lack of Faith.Faith co-exists with trust.They are inseparable. My friends,live life as if it were your last day knowing that you stepped out boldly, followed that voice and at the end of the day accomplished what you believed!!

When the 'what ifs' come into your mind..combat it with the word.Repeat stuff like,God has my back and He told me He will never leave me nor forsake me. I have learned the only thing Satan responds to and run away from is truth.The truth is the word of God.

Now I can say that leaving home for an estranged land, following Christ, loving people even when they don't understand me was all apart of God's plans for me.